Sarah Elizabeth Asher
June 21, 1957
September 3, 2010 Wheat Ridge, CO
Sally’s Memorial: Place: The Arbor House at Maple Grove Park 14600 W. 32nd Ave. Golden, CO 80401 http://www.prospectdistrict.org/parks/arborhouse.php Date: Friday, October 1, 2010 Time: 5:30 PM until 9:00 PM Who is invited: Anyone who knew Sally and never hit her in the head with a rock. And even if you did you still can attend so long as you can plausibly claim it was an accident or she really pissed you off right before you hit her (see note 1). What this will be: An informal gathering of Sally’s friends to celebrate her life. Children are welcome. Dogs are technically not allowed in the Arbor House, but it is in a park so it would probably be fine if well-behaved four-footed beasts attended, provided they don’t whinny, eat hay, and scare the daylights out of her brother. What we will do: Eat, drink, remember, laugh. Crying, weeping, sniveling, or acting all mopey and sad will not be permitted and will be dealt with sternly using hugs, bad puns, or off-color limericks involving the behavior of dogs, as required. For better or worse, at some point in the evening, we will let people who have something they want to share with everyone get access to a microphone, or maybe we will do an all-Katrina and the Waves karaoke festival (see rule 1), depending on the general mood at that point (see rule 2). We will also be showing a collection of photos of Sally (see note 2). What you should bring: Stories to tell, a cd or memory stick containing a few songs Sally would like (see note 3), and a biscuit for Colby (see note 4). What we will have there: Light snacks provided by Parisi, the contents of Sally’s wine cellar, beer, soft drinks, water, coffee, dog hair, relatives of Sally’s you have never met. Questions? Contact Bill at email@example.com note 1: This would exclude any of the horses Sally ever owned, since the were always hitting her in the head with rocks, or more accurately throwing her onto the ground in such a way that her head hit a rock. So really, this is my way of excluding horses because I am even more not really a horse person than I am not really a dog person, which I think I’ve mentioned before. note 2: If anyone has photos they would like included in the slide show, please send them to Bill at firstname.lastname@example.org as JPEGs and he will have Sally’s sister Judy, who is creating the slide show, include them. note 3: We will play the music on our state-of-the-art sound system that we don’t have yet, but hopefully will by the time this event happens because if we don’t we’ll drive a car up to the Arbor House and play the stereo loud with the car doors and windows open just like you did in high school (see sub note 3a). sub-note 3a: Except now we will have to leave the driver-side door shut so the “key in ignition” warning doesn’t keep telling us the driver-side door is open (see sub-sub-note 3a1). sub-sub-note 3a1: It would be great if someone had a sound system that we could use for this. Maybe with a cd player, a way to hook in an iPod (or Zune for the iconoclasts among you who can’t stand white earbuds), and a microphone (with a kill switch in case Sally’s brother gets hold of it in the event of karaoke (see rule 1)). If you can help with this, let Bill or Lisa know at least a few hours ahead of time. note 4: Just kidding about this, but I couldn’t think of a third thing you should bring except to remind everyone to wear pants. Sally has mentioned that the NREL folks sometimes forget about this social nicety and I figured I would put it here in a note rather than in the main text so it would be more discreet. Semper meditatio. rule 1: Sally’s sisters, brother, and father are expressly forbidden to participate in karaoke. In the case of her brother, he is not permitted to even be in the same room as the singing. Trust me, he’s that bad. rule 2: In the event of karaoke breaking out, throwing of the antipasto is strictly forbidden.